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- - Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. (http://goldismoney.info/forums/showthread.php?t=336447)

latitude22 | 01-04-2009 09:29 PM
Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. My guns just dont want me to buy a wife, they are afraid I will hurt myself. Any suggestions on how to convince my gun that the wife will be ok? Should I involve my guns in the selection process? Sorry guys couldn't resist :15_1_70v:

Twisted Avatar | 01-04-2009 09:33 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. 1 Attachment(s) ..................

MOD1 | 01-04-2009 09:35 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Must be a trend. Caught Oprah last week and several guys mentioned that they have the same problem. Don't worry, the Obama transition team has a Czar to address this issue. Take care, Mod1

Twisted Avatar | 01-04-2009 09:38 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. 1 Attachment(s) Dam why you had to mess it up with the Czar??? Gosh........ Now I feel so....... so........

MOD1 | 01-04-2009 09:40 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Sorry TA -- I take it back. Take care, Mod1:23_1_22:

TIED_UP_GOAT | 01-04-2009 09:58 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Stab the gun with a browning knife and buy the wife anyway.

Maddie | 01-04-2009 10:13 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Aren't you the man of your family? Doesn't your gun know you make the decisions? If it doesn't like it, it can go live in some other gunsafe. You'll blow up all the ammo before it and its lawyer get their greedy little lead-digger paws on it! Oh well, at least you have a gun. Some guys on here are sure to tell you why they'll never have a gun. They just rent them at the range for a good time, then it's on to the next one. :biggrin:

latitude22 | 01-04-2009 10:17 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddie (Post 1495330) Oh well, at least you have a gun. Some guys on here are sure to tell you why they'll never have a gun. They just rent them at the range for a good time, then it's on to the next one. :biggrin:
Yea been there and done that, but eventually you want a gun to take to dinner and you want one that will be waiting for you when you get home, happy to see you.

CyberGold | 01-04-2009 10:26 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Why not just rent one, no hassles no fuss, if it gives you trouble just get another. Keep the guns happy.

Workaholic | 01-04-2009 10:29 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. T.A. :15_1_70v: You always crack me up with great pictorial responses I hope your j's are clean cause I save alot of them. thanks for the laughs Mark

latitude22 | 01-04-2009 10:29 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberGold (Post 1495343) Why not just rent one, no hassles no fuss, if it gives you trouble just get another. Keep the guns happy.
Well here's my logic, I'm thinking I need someone to cook meals for the guns and myself, the guns are happy with mcdonalds or KFC, but I would prefer some better home cooked meals. Also the guns don't pick up after themselves, theirs spent shells and dirty oil rags all over the house it would be nice if the wife cleaned that stuff up.

Lou337 | 01-04-2009 10:35 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Indeed. Sometimes a wife is needed for when your gun is sick and needs replacement parts. They know where to find all the products to fix the corrosion in the barrel or the chip off the paint.

Zilver | 01-04-2009 10:38 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. guns can become moody because guns will not let you know that they need to be cleaned so you have to take it upon yourself to periodically ram the rod into the bore which should keep the gun happy :bear_tongue: :bulride:

latitude22 | 01-04-2009 10:39 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Quote:
Originally Posted by Zilver (Post 1495366) guns can become moody because guns will not let you know that they need to be cleaned so you have to take it upon yourself to periodically ram the rod into the bore which should keep the gun happy :bear_tongue: :bulride:
Yea guns expect you to be mind a reader.

CyberGold | 01-04-2009 10:44 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Ah ... but that is like limiting yourself to just one gun. think of it like going to a restaraunt - why order one dish when you can have the buffet? heh heh... actually I have a great girl friend - relationship is 5 years strong and she cooks, cleans, pays half the bills and puts up with me - oh yeah, she likes to shoot and has her own motorcycle and understands the tax benefits of filing single. but if it came down to it, I'd marry her in a heartbeat.

Nighthawk | 01-05-2009 06:32 AM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Quote:
Originally Posted by latitude22 (Post 1495346) Well here's my logic, I'm thinking I need someone to cook meals for the guns and myself, the guns are happy with mcdonalds or KFC, but I would prefer some better home cooked meals. Also the guns don't pick up after themselves, theirs spent shells and dirty oil rags all over the house it would be nice if the wife cleaned that stuff up.
hahaha. A wife wouldn't pick it up...she'll make you do it.

Osaka | 01-05-2009 07:09 AM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. I see absolutely no need for a wife. So many reasons not to get married. You can date plenty, and even have a kid or two if you want.

The Argent Dragon | 01-05-2009 09:18 AM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Quote:
Originally Posted by latitude22 (Post 1495275) My guns just dont want me to buy a wife, they are afraid I will hurt myself. Any suggestions on how to convince my gun that the wife will be ok?
Well, it's just simple jealousy since the guns think they won't have as much time with you in the evenings. Perhaps you can buy higher grade ammo and in the meantime you're searching for a wife that will fondle them as well so they get more attention. Guns are like children - simple minded - simple solutions. :wink: :bear_tongue:

flash91 | 01-05-2009 11:03 AM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Your gun might be ok if you buy a wife safe and keep the wife locked up. It important to keep your wife away from smaller pistols and thieves who might break in.

latitude22 | 01-05-2009 11:15 AM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Quote:
Originally Posted by flash91 (Post 1495938) Your gun might be ok if you buy a wife safe and keep the wife locked up. It important to keep your wife away from smaller pistols and thieves who might break in.
Oh there's no question about that, I mean if I am going to spend money on this wife I am going to make sure it can't wonder off or get jacked.

hypervel | 01-05-2009 07:28 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. There are no polygamy laws on the books fer guns. Can't just sell off your wife to a buddy when you realize she doesn't quite fit your hand like you thought she did. Guns won't disapprove of your other interests, your wife will.

latitude22 | 01-05-2009 07:57 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. If I bought her I can sell her damn it!

Maddie | 01-05-2009 10:04 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. You might have waited too long to buy a wife, what with Obama almost in office now. Rumor has it that wives will be banned, at least the kind of wives everyone wants to play with. Most sensible guys are already stocking up on wives like crazy.

latitude22 | 01-05-2009 10:08 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddie (Post 1497036) You might have waited too long to buy a wife, what with Obama almost in office now. Rumor has it that wives will be banned, at least the kind of wives everyone wants to play with. Most sensible guys are already stocking up on wives like crazy.
Do you think we'll get grandfathered in if we already own some? Or will we have to give them up?

Twisted Avatar | 01-05-2009 10:11 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddie (Post 1497036) You might have waited too long to buy a wife, what with Obama almost in office now. Rumor has it that wives will be banned, at least the kind of wives everyone wants to play with. Most sensible guys are already stocking up on wives like crazy.
The Mormons are taking lessons from us now........:biggrin::biggrin:

electric-amish | 01-05-2009 10:23 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddie (Post 1495330) Aren't you the man of your family? Doesn't your gun know you make the decisions? If it doesn't like it, it can go live in some other gunsafe. You'll blow up all the ammo before it and its lawyer get their greedy little lead-digger paws on it! Oh well, at least you have a gun. Some guys on here are sure to tell you why they'll never have a gun. They just rent them at the range for a good time, then it's on to the next one. :biggrin:
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA Great one. E-A

Maddie | 01-05-2009 10:49 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Quote:
Originally Posted by latitude22 (Post 1497039) Do you think we'll get grandfathered in if we already own some? Or will we have to give them up?
Well, I don't think we'll get as bad as Britain, where they've banned unicorn figurines and small kittens with sharp pointy claws. They'll probably grandfather them in, but you won't be able to sell, trade, or transfer ownership of your wives. You'll have to keep them forever, although I've heard some cities already have "buy backs" where you can trade your wife in for a new pair of sneakers.

St. Germain | 01-05-2009 11:03 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Quote:
Originally Posted by latitude22 (Post 1495275) My guns just dont want me to buy a wife, they are afraid I will hurt myself. Any suggestions on how to convince my gun that the wife will be ok? Should I involve my guns in the selection proces Sorry guys couldn't resist :15_1_70v:
Thanks. Needed a laugh today. Funniest shyt I have read in quite awhile. :ARMS1:

ohioarmedneutrality | 01-05-2009 11:39 PM
Re: Want to buy a wife..... gun very against it. Top 10 reasons a gun is favored over a woman #10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22. # 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road. # 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times. # 7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup. # 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo. # 5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space. # 4. Guns function normally every day of the month. # 3. A gun doesn't ask, 'Do these new grips make me look fat?' # 2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it. And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman.... # 1. You can buy a silencer for a gun. (I didn't create the list, just borrowed it.)

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