| Kahlil Gibran |
03-13-2007 04:35 PM |
Re: ZOMBIES
Quote:
Originally Posted by Infidel
(Post 538762)
I am not the first to post it on GIM, in any case, you are welcome. I just sent $15 to them. Cool membership badge. :)
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:beer: Thanks again. Never heard of 'em before. More from that website:
Quote:
I was having an incredibly bad week and one day, I decided it was time to drown my sorrows. At around noon, I started drinking my first King Kobra and watching television. There was no one around to stop me so I kept going. At around two, my friends came home to find me drunk and sloppy, sucking down the last bit of my third forty. Normally when I get drunk, I just get loud and friendly, but since I wasn't having the best of times, I was kind of... eccentric.
From there, we all went to pick up another friend in my car (I wasn't driving) and, in route, I decided my car would look better with a sun roof. So, to that effect, I pulled out my trusty Case knife and attempted to plunge it into the roof of my car. Despite it having a locking blade and my being convinced it would be funny as hell, the blade folded up on my knuckle.
One of my friends looked over at me and said he nearly shit himself as I put the wound to my mouth and tried to stop the bleeding. While that might work for someone with a small cut, I was later told by doctors that I cut all the way to and actually into the joint of my knuckle. Needless to say, I bled quite a bit.
After picking up my other friend, we mosied on over to Wal-Mart because I apparently refused to go to the hospital. We picked up some rubbing alcohol, butterfly closures and gauze (at my direction) and sat out in the parking lot dressing my wounds since no one else could figure out how to do it.
I went home and passed out for a few hours and then woke up to a party and started drinking again. Nate tells me that they had to talk me out of trying to suture it up myself with needle and thread and simply put more drink in me to make me forget about it.
The next day, the only thing that overpowered the pain in my head was the pain in my hand. I decided that, since I was unable to move my hand, it was probably a good idea to make a stop by the emergency room. When I got there, I told them a story about trying to cut a rawhide bone in half and accidentally cutting myself. Since they couldn't suture it (there's a time limit on open wounds, apparently) they then soaked my hand in an iodine/saline solution, put some antibacterial on it, bandaged it up and prescribed some antibiotics.
Fast forward a little to where they referred me to Dr. Oh in Dublin, VA. He told me the emergency room doctors were idiots, saying that soaking and bandaging an open wound was about the worst thing you could do and undid their mistakes and put my hand in a splint. After a couple of weeks and a few visits, he gave me the all clear and I'm only recently been able to move my hand without pain.
So, what did I learn?
1. Knives, firearms and anything similar does not mix with alcohol at all. You may think you can handle what you're doing, but when you get some drink in you, you turn into an idiot (a much larger idiot in my case). If you see a friend trying to use something like this and he's under the influence of anything, do them a favor and kick them in the teeth. They'll thank you later.
2. Just because you know your stuff doesn't mean your friends do. I'm honestly surprised I was able to effectively dress my wounds, but things would have went a lot smoother had my friends had any clue what the hell was going on. Had I passed out or been any drunker, I would have probably ended up bleeding out quite a bit more, but they probably would have taken me to the hospital, which brings me to my next point.
3. If you get hurt pretty bad, no matter how minor you may think it is, go to the damn hospital. I didn't think much of my "little cut" and I ended up in a splint for three weeks.
4. Doctors are trained professionals, but they're still human. If you suspect they're doing something wrong, don't just sit there and say "Yes ma'am, no ma'am." If you're curious about why they're doing what they're doing, ask.
5. Sunfires, despite all outward appearances, are pretty tough. Don't try to jam a knife through the roof, especially while inebriated.
6. Most young female receptionists are hot and wounds score sympathy.
In short, don't be a dumb-ass.
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