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- - QWAK,"The new KITTY" :) (http://goldismoney.info/forums/showthread.php?t=51725)

GOLD DUCK | 08-03-2006 08:59 PM
QWAK,"The new KITTY" :) QWAK,Ponce is gona love this one!! :hahaha: :ARMS1: We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one. . . . Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem. Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it." "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!" "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second." Out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied dangling between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of kitten hanging from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding. Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back into the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was. What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?" If they only knew! ---------------------------------- Ponce,next time you go to FIX somthing -------- PUT some CLOTHS ON or you too could wake up with somthing to explain that is very EMBARISING! :albertein :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :banana: :banana: the DUCK

Ponce Cuba | 08-03-2006 09:16 PM
Re: QWAK,"The new KITTY" :) Hahahahahahahah Ducky gooddddddd one, is the "kitty" still in the house ahahahaahahahahahahahahah :banana: :haha: My lady just told me the following " In England they have (or had) a display of some very famous teddy bears with one of them Elvis Presley being the X owner, the present owner paid $97,000 for it..... anyway..... to guard the teddy bears they places a large german sheppeard in the same room that night and locked the doors. When the doors were opened the next morning there were parts of all the teddy bears ALLLLLLLL OVER THE PLACE it looks like the dog went on a rampage and tore apart all the bears, not a single one scaped it teeth. The value of the collection was stimated to be about $900.000...... talking about a dog being in the "dog" house hahahahahahahah.

Maddie | 08-03-2006 11:18 PM
Re: QWAK,"The new KITTY" :) The dog was a Doberman. Can you imagine walking in to a sight like that in the morning?! http://abcnews.go.com/International/...ory?id=2265816

Ponce Cuba | 08-04-2006 02:44 PM
Re: QWAK,"The new KITTY" :) I saw the follow up on this story and it was the insurance company that wanted for a dog to stand guard at night.

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